Man Cleavage | A Polite Conversation

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We’ve been tip-toeing around this issue for a while now…but after our latest distinction as style advisors for the Urban Grad, we felt it was time to bring it to the light. Fellas, we have got to establish some sort of understanding when it comes to man cleavage.

In this conversation, you will attempt to invoke such identities as Kanye West, Trey Songz, Ryan Leslie, Brad Pitt…maybe even Jude Law — save yourself the trouble. Instead focus on the facts.

FACT 1. Most men…are not celebrities. — Not to be a buzz-kill, but let’s face it, you have a total of 5 fans (most of which are related to you). The reason why Trey Songz can open his purple label shirt to the navel is because A) he thinks he’s a 70s Soul Singer reincarnate, and B) he has fans who like to see that. You, on the other hand, have obligations. You work, or you study/attend class for the majority of the week; don’t be Don Lemon M-F, then Tom Ford on Friday/Saturday Night. Two buttons undone works FINE — not too stuffy, not too flamboyant.

FACT 2. Common Man, Common Entourage. — No, I’m not talking about Vinny Chase and the gang, I’m speaking about how your favorite chest exposers roll with a solid crew — personal trainer, groomer, and tanning services. This supporting cast helps make his Pec Wedge seem flawless. Now….compare that to your posse — sometime gym, grooming optional, and…tanning is for women and wussies. Simply, you and Brad Pitt will NEVER be able to pull off the same Ocean’s 11/12/13 shirt flare because you don’t have the luxury of an ensemble whose sole purpose is to make your chest meat look alluring.

FACT 3. Respect the One-Hundred Thousand Trillion Rule. — Coined by Taco Meat King, Kanyeezy, three buttons or less should be reserved for instances where your swagger savior-faire is at one-hundred thousand trillion, and rising. Vegas — ABSOLUTELY. The Summer White Party — HAVE AT IT. The First Fridays or Young Professionals Buppie outing — NO, not at all.

Take home message — Haberdashery is an art. Know when to work within the confines, and when to step outside them. Above all, strive for a consistent message, one that reflects your lifestyle. Trust, if you can achieve this, you won’t need to base your sex appeal on the number of buttons liberated from your shirt loops.

Good talking with you.

Written by great8productions

January 13, 2010 at 12:05 pm

Posted in Class|in|Session

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